February 16, 2021
Never Split the Difference: by Chris Voss
This is the best book on negotiation. Whether you’re negotiating with a customer, a landlord, a spouse, or a salesperson – you’ll find it useful. There are a lot of practical tips, but a few key ones are:
- Ask open-ended questions
- Be empathetic
- Listen more than you speak
Another one of Chris’ tips is labeling. If you’re actively listening during a negotiation, you’ll begin to feel what the other person is feeling. Chris says: Label it!
“Sounds like you are frustrated.”
“Seems like you aren’t comfortable with this outcome.”
Label. Then listen. You’ll hear more from their side.
This is a win/win. More information for you and your counterpart feels understood.
We often hear the word negotiation and think “I don’t negotiate in my life” or “I’m not in business”.
We negotiate every day.
If you have a kid, you negotiate TV time or how much more dinner they need to eat to earn dessert.
If you have a significant other, you negotiate which restaurant you should go to or who is going to do the laundry.
If you have a landlord, you negotiate rent and how long you can stay.
If you have a boss, you negotiate your salary and other ways you’re compensated.
Taking the time to learn a few easy tips (hint: Labeling and Mirroring) can set us up for success in many areas of our lives.
“Negotiation is not an act of battle; it’s a process of discovery. The goal is to uncover as much information as possible.”Chris Voss
What can you discover in your next negotiation?
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